I like scars. Always have. It goes along with that character thing you mentioned. All of mine are from Mary ; ) Let's see if she reads this and comments, lol. For others, Mary is my bff from down the street in a neighborhood near Shell. We all grew up together. I am joking though...one scar is from falling off my sister's handlebars! My oldest brother, Perry, had the worst scars I ever saw growing up - the scars of polio that left him looking quite deformed, sadly. That is a scar of another person that shaped my life greatly. Great man.
I have a scar above my lip from the hot water of a car wash hose from when I was 16 that is getting more noticeable as I age. Never used to bug me and now it does.
We seem to have shared a common childhood, tho mine took place in Minnesota. Your reference to collecting pollywogs and the watching them grow into frogs sent me way back - thanks for that.
One of my favorite scar memories is of the day the I joined the neighborhood kids at a pond in the middle of the woods for a morning of ice skating. Somehow - the exact details have been lost — my thumb came in contact with a sharp skate blade and the pad was nearly cut off. My sister wrapped my hand in her scarf and the whole lot of us rushed me home for medical care. Mom, having become accustomed to her feral daughters, pinched the gaping wound and sealed it with superglue. An hour later I was back out skating, this time wearing a pair of Dad’s deer skin choppers as protection.
Lori, I LOVE this comment! Yikes on the thumb cut! Amazing that you went right back out there. I was just commenting to a friend last night that I can’t believe I went to school the next day with my face swollen and deformed. Kids didn’t miss school for much, I guess. I love that we have some shared memoires, and I laughed out loud at the “feral daughters.” For sure—I can relate.
Shell, as you well know: it is not what happens to you; its the meaning you give it/them. You have shown that, as a writer, you are a noble thinker. None of us readers care whether you have one or ten scars. You have content. That is what counts. The inside. Not the skin. I could rephrase Dr. MLK (birthday coming up) and say we should not be "known by the scars on our skin, but by the content of our character." That is how we readers know you.
I have literal scars on my hands from carpal tunnel surgeries that I had when I was 16. That was a rough time for me, but I’m so much better now. They serve as a reminder that I shouldn’t overdo anything. (I had developed some bad writing habits/postures then that caused me to get the carpal tunnel in the first place).
Most of the things I’d like to “cut” are in my head and I am not sure how to “erase” them.
Appreciate you sharing this beautiful piece! Both my husband and my daughter have significant and unsightly physical scars that people cannot help but stare at when they are exposed (which is fairly easy to do - husband's runs the full length of his upper arm - daughter, outlines a 1/3 of her spine). To be clear - their individual scars are not from a shared experience.
Little do people understand that beneath the marred skin they witness, their are painful emotional scars are that tell a much deeper story.
Yes, it’s a significant part of their life story. My physical scar is not that bad, but we all realize that those scars are part of who we are. . . or how we became who we are. I appreciate your comment. ♥️
Right. That’s why I like to encourage people to stand up to those skeletons in the closet—realizing that they too helped shape us into who we are today. They do not have to take over, though. We can face them, defeat them & put them to rest as we move forward a stronger person.
I have a (very small) scar on my face from a mishap at the age of four when my similar-sized cousin ran into me on one of those '70s metal teeter-totters. it was something I was aware of for years as a younger person but until now have completely forgotten. Thanks for the memory. (And a reason to call my cousin and tease her about her poor teeter-tottering skills.)
I always enjoy your posts, Shell. They always provide food for thought. Not sure I would have wanted to live where you did with the prospect of a snake slithering over my toes! #GenStackCoterie
Beautifully written piece with such descriptive storytelling. I love your final line. Sometimes bringing our scars out and openly talking or "comparing" them, makes us realize they are not quite as bad as we think. My two cents anyways.
I like scars. Always have. It goes along with that character thing you mentioned. All of mine are from Mary ; ) Let's see if she reads this and comments, lol. For others, Mary is my bff from down the street in a neighborhood near Shell. We all grew up together. I am joking though...one scar is from falling off my sister's handlebars! My oldest brother, Perry, had the worst scars I ever saw growing up - the scars of polio that left him looking quite deformed, sadly. That is a scar of another person that shaped my life greatly. Great man.
You could write a story about your brother.
Thinking about writing here. You inspire me : )
It’s a very welcoming community.
I have a scar above my lip from the hot water of a car wash hose from when I was 16 that is getting more noticeable as I age. Never used to bug me and now it does.
We seem to have shared a common childhood, tho mine took place in Minnesota. Your reference to collecting pollywogs and the watching them grow into frogs sent me way back - thanks for that.
One of my favorite scar memories is of the day the I joined the neighborhood kids at a pond in the middle of the woods for a morning of ice skating. Somehow - the exact details have been lost — my thumb came in contact with a sharp skate blade and the pad was nearly cut off. My sister wrapped my hand in her scarf and the whole lot of us rushed me home for medical care. Mom, having become accustomed to her feral daughters, pinched the gaping wound and sealed it with superglue. An hour later I was back out skating, this time wearing a pair of Dad’s deer skin choppers as protection.
Lori, I LOVE this comment! Yikes on the thumb cut! Amazing that you went right back out there. I was just commenting to a friend last night that I can’t believe I went to school the next day with my face swollen and deformed. Kids didn’t miss school for much, I guess. I love that we have some shared memoires, and I laughed out loud at the “feral daughters.” For sure—I can relate.
Shell, as you well know: it is not what happens to you; its the meaning you give it/them. You have shown that, as a writer, you are a noble thinker. None of us readers care whether you have one or ten scars. You have content. That is what counts. The inside. Not the skin. I could rephrase Dr. MLK (birthday coming up) and say we should not be "known by the scars on our skin, but by the content of our character." That is how we readers know you.
💗 You rendered me speechless here.
I have literal scars on my hands from carpal tunnel surgeries that I had when I was 16. That was a rough time for me, but I’m so much better now. They serve as a reminder that I shouldn’t overdo anything. (I had developed some bad writing habits/postures then that caused me to get the carpal tunnel in the first place).
Most of the things I’d like to “cut” are in my head and I am not sure how to “erase” them.
Great article.
Talking with others helps smooth out those internal scars, I think. Hearing others’ stories and finding hope & strength to move forward.
Appreciate you sharing this beautiful piece! Both my husband and my daughter have significant and unsightly physical scars that people cannot help but stare at when they are exposed (which is fairly easy to do - husband's runs the full length of his upper arm - daughter, outlines a 1/3 of her spine). To be clear - their individual scars are not from a shared experience.
Little do people understand that beneath the marred skin they witness, their are painful emotional scars are that tell a much deeper story.
Yes, it’s a significant part of their life story. My physical scar is not that bad, but we all realize that those scars are part of who we are. . . or how we became who we are. I appreciate your comment. ♥️
Wow -- well written and powerful, Shell. Great story!
Thank you for your encouraging comment. ♥️
When you believe that you have been treated very unfairly or otherwise mistreated, you probably get angry and resentful.
These “emotional scars” are probably real and justified. But while your bitterness is real, it does you no good if it remains as bitterness.
Don’t fall into the trap of needing to prove how mistreated you were. Instead, redirect that negative energy in a positive, productive direction.
See it as an opportunity to discover what you can learn, and apply the lessons in ways that benefit the future.
Events often go in a negative direction, But you never have to use your own time and efforts to continue in that direction.
What you’re focused on is what you empower. Focus on a hopeful future, not on a difficult past.
See the goodness, live the goodness, and make more of it.
Right. That’s why I like to encourage people to stand up to those skeletons in the closet—realizing that they too helped shape us into who we are today. They do not have to take over, though. We can face them, defeat them & put them to rest as we move forward a stronger person.
As a therapist once told me, “this will always be a factor in who you are, but it doesn’t need to be your whole identity. “
Amen to that!
I have a (very small) scar on my face from a mishap at the age of four when my similar-sized cousin ran into me on one of those '70s metal teeter-totters. it was something I was aware of for years as a younger person but until now have completely forgotten. Thanks for the memory. (And a reason to call my cousin and tease her about her poor teeter-tottering skills.)
Nice to have a reason to stay in touch with a cousin! Haha
Thank you for sharing this story! ♥️
I always enjoy your posts, Shell. They always provide food for thought. Not sure I would have wanted to live where you did with the prospect of a snake slithering over my toes! #GenStackCoterie
haha 🐍 So glad you liked my story. Thank you for sharing it too!
Men of a certain age, which it sounds like is you and I, definitely have a lot of scars. Some inside & some outside as you say. Really enjoyed this!
Thank you for saying so! I’m glad you enjoyed reading (or listening).
Powerful, Shell. The description about the scar was very touching—reposted.
Why thank you so much for commenting and reposting. That’s so nice of you. ♥️
Beautifully written piece with such descriptive storytelling. I love your final line. Sometimes bringing our scars out and openly talking or "comparing" them, makes us realize they are not quite as bad as we think. My two cents anyways.
Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement.
I grew up in Detroit too.
Many playgrounds in the neighborhood! Although mostly rough and tough interactions with kids on the play structures led to a few scrapes and scars!
I rode my bike for miles back then!
I rode my bike EVERYWHERE too!
I'll have to look closer for that scar. Not sure I've ever noticed it!